My Photo
Name:
Location: Central Michigan, United States

Spent a long career making lots of money for other people. Now it's my turn. _____________________________ Email: erikivanjames@gmail.com

Monday, August 28, 2006

Soft Ending!

“I don’t have one.”
“Why?”
“I hate those things!”
“Well, we’re not doing it without one!”
“Well, we wouldn’t do it if I had one!”
“Why not?”
“Because I hate them. As soon as I start putting one on, I go soft.”
“Because they’re too tight?”
“No. Because I hate ‘em so much.”
“We’re not doing it without one. I mean that!”
“I don’t want to stop now.”
“Not without one.”
“Told you, I don’t have any.”
“Maybe I have some left. I’ll go look.”
“What, maybe you have some left?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe I don’t. I’ll go look.”
“You keep your own supply, and you’re not sure if you have any left?”
“Yes. I’ll be right back.”
“Never mind.”
“What?”
“I said never mind.”
“Why?”
“It just went soft.”

13 Comments:

Blogger Bernita said...

Amusing dialogue.
Gives a new meaning to "shrink wrap."

8:07 AM EDT  
Blogger ivan said...

Good use of metaphor; writing about something without saying what it his. Skillfully handled.


Me?
When I play old-timers' hockey people in the locker room tease me about having an extra belly button.
LOL.

3:20 PM EDT  
Blogger ivan said...

Good use of metaphor; writing about something without saying what it his. Skillfully handled.


Me?
When I play old-timers' hockey people in the locker room tease me about having an extra belly button.
LOL.

3:21 PM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

Thank you, Bernita. Um, shrink wrap...yes, certainly better than aluminum foil

7:29 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

[chuckling]
Well, Ivan, I'd certainly rather be noticed for what appears to be an extra belly button than for what appears to be a scab on my butt.

7:31 AM EDT  
Blogger For The Trees said...

You have an ass-tounding talent. Don't let that scab on your butt interfere. Belly button, belly button, here I come!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

8:31 AM EDT  
Blogger ivan said...

for the trees:

You are a hoot!

Sounds like you've travelled some as well, as I see by your blog.

10:26 AM EDT  
Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Are you going to write Bill and Ted's Guide to the Ultimate Sexual Adventure? I think you'd be brilliant...

12:50 PM EDT  
Blogger R.J. Baker said...

No dialogue attributes and I didn't get lost. Very good. But still don't leave home without one...

3:11 PM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

"ass-tounding"

Good word, Forrest. I like it.

7:39 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

"Bill and Ted's Guide..."

Hmmm, Samdra. Would that be a gay book?

7:42 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

R.J.,
Damned good to see you here!

7:43 AM EDT  
Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Okay, make it Billy and Ted's...

7:30 PM EDT  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home