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Spent a long career making lots of money for other people. Now it's my turn. _____________________________ Email: erikivanjames@gmail.com

Saturday, March 10, 2007

On the john.

A little humor for the writers who visit here. Stolen from Reader’s Digest, March 2007.

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“Once upon a time, a beautiful young antelope was going to the party of the year. Excited, she put on a new outfit, makeup, great shoes, the whole nine yards. Suddenly, she was stampeded by a herd of buffalo, making her the first self-dressed stamped antelope.”

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“A recent survey reported that 27% of Americans take their cell phones to the bathroom, an indication that reading is definitely becoming a lost art.”

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neat.
You lifted some stuff from my old employer.
I used to brag that I had stuff in the Reader's Digest.
Said a prospective managing editor,
"So what? People only read it in the bathroom."

I guess nowadays, with the cell phones, I'd better cut a DVD.

Cheers,

Ivan

12:36 PM EST  
Blogger EA Monroe said...

Since I have only invaded the men's room a couple of times and couldn't say for sure about the guys, I do know that the ladies talk on their cell phones in the ladies room at the mall and at the stores.

Half the time I think they are talking to me from the stall next door and I answer them back!

I'm still trying to figure out how they... ummm... err... take care of business if they have the cell phone in one hand and the other hand... well, never mind!

4:27 PM EST  
Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

OH OH OH. My mom used to tell me she knew of twins named Cantelope and Antelope.

Cell phone in the potty, huh? Well, one must keep one's mind occupied with something in there, I guess. Liz, how about those ear pieces that free the hands? Maybe that's why they're so popular! Hey, you could read, talk, and well...well..whatever. Donnetta

6:49 PM EST  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

~Laughing~
"...and I answer them back!"

That is hillarious, EA! That is a scene that comedy writers could win awards with!

~still laughing~

7:29 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

Hello, Donnetta.

I never take my cell phone in the bathroom. You see, I am kinda clumsy, and....

7:31 AM EDT  
Blogger Bernita said...

Wonder if plumbers have had to fish any of them out?

7:43 AM EDT  
Blogger spyscribbler said...

Ohmigosh, I always find that the weirdest thing. I have trouble continuing the conversation when I hear them flushing. It's just awkward!

And then when I'm sitting in my own stall, and the lady in the stall to the left is gabbing away while making her own necessary noises, I ... I just can't believe it!

I am definitely not a gab and poop sort of girl.

9:09 PM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

That is why I never take mine in with me, Bernita...because I can't afford the plumber.

7:09 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

"I'm definitely not a gab and poop sort of girl"

~belly laughing~ Spyscribbler, that line might become a cliche...it is that good!

7:12 AM EDT  
Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, my boss dropped his cellphone in the toilet. At the time, I thought it very odd that he was using it in there. After reading this, I guess he isn't the only one to use it there.

8:28 AM EDT  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

Good to see you, James. You are always welcome here.

~Laughing~ Back in my shining-times, I did a lot of traveling in my work. At the favorite room in any airport, it was T-paper in one hand, cell phone in the other.

12:30 PM EDT  

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